Monday, October 25, 2010

Journal #17: Nature

I'm going to be honest. I do not bond with nature, because nature is not my friend. Nature has spiders, and I hate spiders with a really deep fiery passion because they scare the living bejeezus out of me. They have way too many legs and eyes and they spin webs.

Because of my fear of spiders, my severe allergy to poison ivy, my dislike of mud, and several others factors, I stay away from nature. Nature is dirty and it gives you diseases like poison oak/ivy and rabies. There are some parts of nature that aren't that bad, though, like if you are bonding with nature in a clean, insect-free situation. When there is no excessive dirtiness or scary bugs, then nature does not bother me that much. I'm still wary of poison ivy and whatnot, though. Besides, animals aren't all that cute either. Sure, you may think Bambi is all cute and leaps through meadows and befriends beavers and rabbits, but that's just an act. Really, Bambi is waiting at the edge of the meadow waiting for you to finish your picnic lunch, ready to pounce and eat you and spit out your bones. It's just the truth.

Last summer when we went to Montana and hiked in the mountains, and I was extremely displeased with the amount of nature that was surrounding me. Leaves. Mud. Ants. Flies. Spiders. Vicious, bloodthirsty bears. The experience was not a pleasant one for me, especially since it involved walking five miles up a mountain and then back down with no water and only a very small bag of white cheddar goldfish to eat. There were eight very hungry people that had to share that tiny little bag of goldfish and it was actually a really terrifying for all of us. I never want to go through that kind of emotional and physical pain again. Nature inflicted that pain on me, and I will hold this grudge forever.

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